Blog Categories

Triangle Chapter News

September Program Recap: 5 Secrets to Getting Heard

Posted by [email protected] on Sep. 12, 2019 / Subscribe 0

This past Tuesday we gathered back at the PNC Arena for our first monthly SMPS Program of the 2019-2020 season. We had a great welcome back attendance of nearly 60 people. Dave Bates, Managing Partner and CEO, Wise Insights, LLC was the speaker, and shared his knowledge about the Five Secrets to Being Heard. My key takeaway and a recurring theme as I thought deeper into each of his points - for someone to be heard, you have to be fully present in what they are saying. Be intentional. In this day and age, people are always busy, with technology in the palm of their hands. It’s easy to glance at your phone in moments when we should be fully present and focused on the ones around us. We hear them, but are we really listening?

The 5 Secrets:

The sender’s responsibility (message sent = message received)

Hearing vs. Listening

Frame of Reference

Preferences and Tendencies

The Platinum Rule

Dave was an exceptional speaker. He asked questions encouraging audience participation. He shared stories and images that all brought you back to the focus presentation. One example: a picture of his daughters’ bike. Dave talked about how the tire kept messing up and wouldn’t roll smoothly – there was a spoke broken. Instead of taking time to really figure out what was happening and resolve the issue, he would make a quick adjustment and clipped the spoke off. Over time the bike had more issues with the tire, more things kept going wrong and his daughter kept coming back for help and Dave would make another quick adjustment. In hindsight, he wished he had just really listened and taken the time to fix it right the first time she asked, avoiding the multiple issues and then larger problem in the end – having to adjust each spoke individually because the missing spoke had caused the tire to become too warped to roll.

How does this impact my career? I want to be heard, but also, I must make sure I’m listening too. Have an opened mind with the people you work with, try to understand where they are coming from – we often only see a small part of what others are really going through in life, listen to what they are saying or may be asking. Dave mentioned during his presentation that communication is our most used tool, but often the least trained. Let’s be more present and intentional with others around us. Follow the golden rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you, while keeping in mind the Platinum Rule: treat others as they need to be treated, be aware of their preferences and tendencies, be present in how you communicate with those around you.